


There's no meaning since you're gone from my world

by jiyuunoriyuu



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, im sorry but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-04 02:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14582598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiyuunoriyuu/pseuds/jiyuunoriyuu
Summary: Ritsu could only watch as two of his beloved person started dying.(Or maybe he could change it?)





	There's no meaning since you're gone from my world

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still bad at giving title so it's from MY FIRST STORY - Kimi no inai yoru wo koete.

Ritsu stay and watch as two of his favorite person started dying.

 

He still think it's such a funny thing, dying out of love. Why would anyone let go of their life because of someone else? It's such a bizzare concept for Ritsu. Even if love is blind and foolish, why would people go that far for someone who don't love them back?

 

He ask Rei about it when they were a little younger, when Rei couldn't stop talking about a certain blonde boy. His brother laugh and say that no, he won't die because of a stupid disease. He will get better soon, after he drank his medicines.

 

"You really are a filthy liar."

 

"I'm sorry," Rei give him a weary smile, his face looking paler and his eyes more sunken. He looks nothing like Ritsu's cool older brother, nor does he look like the weak old man he is the last year. It's like something has drain most of Rei's life force, and Ritsu could only glare accusingly at the petals of freesia. "Ritsu, would you forgive me?"

 

"I won't. You could drink those medicine again, then maybe we could talk about it." It's almost a week since Rei stay in his bed, and Ritsu could see the older is getting weaker. Today, Rei's struggling just to sit upright.

 

"I have to die without you forgiving me, then. It's not like two years ago. I was foolish, and my heart is too young to tell difference between love and longing. It's different this time."

 

"Go confess, then. Maybe he return your feeling." Because it feels like if this go on for another day, he will lose Rei for real. He don't mind seeing Rei going out with anyone, as long as it will drive this... weak creature away. Ritsu want his brother back. Even if it's his old man persona.

 

"I can't. He don't feel the same, and confessing will just make him feels guilty."

 

"You will say it's another puppy love, after you heal yourself and stop being such a stupid thing. Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

 

"Because he's been a part of my life for almost as long as you, and I can't afford feeling numb whenever I see him!" Rei looks guilty right after he said it, like his word could hurt Ritsu. It did. "It's still painful, even if i get rid of it. Because all my memories of him will stay but feels like a dream, like a distant past but I can't tell whether it's real or just a fragment of my imagination. I can live through it once, but twice? I would rather die."

 

"Then go die and rot in your grave."

 

It's childish of him to slam the door as he stomps away, but Ritsu feels so frustated. Rei treated him like he's a kid, just because he haven't fall in love as hard as Rei did. But Ritsu don't want to know how it feels. Who cares about love anyway? It would just take away everyone he care about.

 

It hurt as much as looking at his brother, watching Mao lay unconcious on a hospital bed. The younger boy haven't wake up for three days. His doctor said there's nothing wrong about the boy's body. It's probably his mind that decide against waking up, keeping Mao's conciousness away.

 

Aside from the constant beeping of the machines, the black lilies around his bed are the only things saying that Mao's still alive. Ritsu sat beside his childhood friend, twining their hands together. For the first time ever Mao is paler than Ritsu.

 

He decide he don't like the color difference.

 

 

_"Rather than a blessing, this feeling is a curse." Mao play with the petals he just coughed out, wistfully looking at the dark flower. It took him several minute to calm down after an especially bad coughing fit, but once he find some petals without any trace of blood, he won't let it go. "How could I fall in love with someone who won't love me back? Oh my god, I'm so stupid."_

_"Forget him, then. You can get a medicine that will heal it, along with your feeling. Anija took it once, and he said it only took a day for the medicine to heal you."_

_"Sakuma-san did?" The new information catch Mao's attention faster than anything else. Maybe Ritsu should tell him sooner that it's not his first time watching this disease wreck someone's life. "Who was it? When?"_

_"Two years ago. He forget it as soon as the disease show up."_

_"Huh. I will think about it, then." Mao looks conflicted, like he really considering it. Then he look at Ritsu for the first time today, trying to feign his curiousity with indifference. "You still won't ask me who is it?"_

_"Ignorance is a bliss. I would kill this person who hurt you, but no. I'll let you decide for yourself." He stand up and squeeze Mao's shoulder, giving a faint smile. Even though he don't really feel like smiling. "Good night, Maa-kun. Get well soon."_

If only he know that was Mao's last awake moment, he would ask.

 

He ask the doctor if there's any way to heal Mao, but apparently they have to wait until Mao wakes up. The medicine will affect the brain first before cleansing the body, so forcing it when Mao's asleep will just damage his brain and do him too much harm.

 

"Maa-kun, why won't you wake up?" Ritsu dislike crying. It's ugly and uncomfortable and will show his weakness, but he feels like now is the right time to cry. If he keep holding it in, everything will just shatter all at once. But before the tears touch his cheek, he saw the photos on the bedside, and Ritsu start to put two and two together.

 

It's been so close all this time, but Ritsu decided to keep his ignorance.

 

It's a frame holding few photos. Trickstar, Basketball Club, Student Council. The Isara family. Ritsu's eyes focused on the right top picture, though. It's a photo taken on Mao's entrance ceremony, Ritsu and Rei standing on his side. The photo isn't a good one--Ritsu's yawning and Rei's looking away because someone called his name. Mao isn't looking at the camera, either.

 

He was looking at Rei.

 

Ritsu grabbed the frame and ran away from the hospital room, for the first time in his life he run with all his might. He didn't realize it before, but Rei said he's been friends with his object of affection for almost as long as Ritsu, and there's no one else other than Mao. What if all this time they're not loving blindedly? What if all this madness is simply an effect of their stubbornness, a child of assumptions and lack of courage? What if actually Rei and Mao love each other?

 

Maybe, just maybe, he could start with saving one of them, and it's as good as healing both.

 

He slammed the door open.

 

_"Ritsu, I'm sorry for loving someone so dear to you."_

**Author's Note:**

> The flowers present how the person see his own feeling. Rei's freesia means childish, Mao's black lily means love or curse.
> 
> I suddenly lose my ability to write in character when I'm rushing things. Sorry, Ritsu.


End file.
